yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
