3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
