yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize