The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
