guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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