I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
