Please, let me fuck your mom
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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