go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
