Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
