Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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