when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
