I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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