I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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