and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
