the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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