Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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