Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
