Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize