I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
bring money and cleavage
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
