Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
