HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
