awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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