final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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