Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
