the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
