no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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