She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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