he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
