Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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