Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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