I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
