I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i've created a new STD.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
