i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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