Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
