And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
