Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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