You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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