I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
