I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dignity is for republicans.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
