You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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