I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
