Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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