New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
