what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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