went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
