Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
