She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
