I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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