he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
