I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
birth control should be required to get into college
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize