We're like a lot better than the average bears
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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