It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
