bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
