I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
