ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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