You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
