Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
