you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
