sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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