stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
