Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
