Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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