Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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