this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
