i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
