She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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