FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
