Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
