my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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