so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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