so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
