Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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