How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
