Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
