just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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