He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
