I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
