Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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